The older I get, the more I see the reality that we are communal people. More gets accomplished in a thriving community. Children seem easier to raise – to an extent. Work seems easier to manage with that sense of team and community. Change is easier to adapt to, no matter how complex. The impossible is possible with a supportive community. That is why I look back with a sense of sadness on my childhood; as much as I heard, “It takes a village,” from my parents, we spent a great deal of energy separating ourselves from the very village we swore was essential.
It is a reality that is making itself more and more apparent as I sit in bed rest, waiting for my twins to be born. My immediate family is eager to be the first ones called and asked to be there for the birth and events surrounding it, but when I inform them there are others here helping me out, I am met with a cold wall of jealousy, anger, and feelings of betrayal. When I make it clear I want them there first, I am met with ambivalence and a sense that this life event I have very little control over is the biggest inconvenience to their daily lives. It is hard to feel secure that your initial “village” will be there for you when they won’t even give a definitive yes to showing up.
this has made me realize there is a core function to a thriving community – trust. The knowledge that those in the community will be there for one another. That when it is important, the village will show up. Sometimes, the mere presence of others makes all the difference in the world. The greatest gift of community is not the food made, the hands given, the money donated, or the advice conjured. It is just showing up. Being present and accounted for. Because that gift alone makes one person feel more than just part of community – they are now the center of the world. And that makes everything possible.
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