The Year That Was (originally from my wordpress site thejournalcollector; published Jan 26, 2015)

It has been awhile since my last post.  I can at least say I have a semi-valid excuse: I had twins.  I gave birth to two lovely babies;a boy and a girl.  Babies that came almost 5 weeks early but still managed to weigh over 6 pounds a piece and totaled 40 inches of baby removed.  These twins were the reason for 3 weeks of bed rest, almost a week in the hospital, and my loathing of a return to office work.  However, my year ended with a layoff and a renewed passion for music.  Job searches, writing songs, and prayers that all would go well meant my blog found its way to the bottom of my priorities and my feeling that I once had something important to share dissipated almost as quickly as they appeared.

Then 2015 happened.  It seemed almost instantaneous.  I was thrown from feeling like when would the year end to wondering where the year went.  2014 definitely did not go according to my plans.  My belief in God leads me to conclude that God was trying to teach me a lesson in humility, patience, and getting uncomfortable.   After all, I had grown quite complacent in how my life was going and where it was heading.  Though I constantly said I dreamed of something more, I had stopped pursuing it. I was pretty good where I was, but that was good enough. 

So here we are. I chose to make goals for this year instead of resolutions.  Resolutions almost start with the motivation to be broken, but goals;  no one ever says with joy they did not meet their goals. My goals can be summed up into three areas:  loving my family more, living in my faith daily,  and loving who God created me to be.  It's not going to be easy or simple.  Writing is integral in my goals - with both my blog and songs - and I never considered myself stellar at either.  Then there is my self image involving weight loss, purposeful living, and loving who I am.   I haven't liked my reflection or abilities since I was seven!  And even with the time constraints of the days, I still want to be able to have individual time with all the people I love; namely my daughter and husband.  If I had a time machine or didn't need to sleep, that would be the easiest task in the world.  But I am not a rocket scientist, magician, or God, so I have to make all this happen in 119 hours I'm awake during the week.

To all that I say, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.  This is a year of moving forward to become all that I'm supposed to be.  I have lived the dream of others for far too long,  and I don't need another layoff to make me regret any more than I already do.  I welcome all supporters on this journey, and if you would allow me just one more look back...